Making up for Yesterday and Tomorrow

Well today I woke up this morning and I wasn't dizzy for the first time in days! Just goes to show you how sometimes good things, like vaccines, can have extremely negative effects, like dizziness and exhaustion. 

Today I worked on catching up on my schoolwork, since I missed a lot because I was sick on the Gardasil, but I guess that's the beauty of homeschooling: I can do my schoolwork whenever I please! 

I ate extremely unhealthy for breakfast and lunch (lots of carbs!) so I had half an egg-white omelette for dinner. I only ate half cause my culinary expertise led me to burn the damned omelette, which my sister, who we will call Lexi, thought it would be great to make fun of me for.

Oh well! Maybe I'm not the best cook, but today I discovered I have a knack for something else: highlighting hair. I put in my highlights all by myself (oh, aren't I a big girl?) and it actually looks completely natural, but still much blonder. I can't wait to show my boyfriend this weekend, who we will call Jake. 

Right now I am just about to maybe go for a jog, and then prepare myself for my second college interview tomorrow! I'm not so nervous about this one, because my last one landed me an 18,000 dollar scholarship! My dad will be driving me to Washington College in MD, which is a 2-3 hour drive. Wish me luck! I'm working on memorizing facts about the school so I seem as interested as possible (even if it is only a safety school for me). 

I painted my nails especially for the interview. Despite my knack for hair, my mani-pedi talents are much to be desired. But its okay, the color is pale enough that you can't see mistakes too well. I just want to give at least a semi-polished look.

My dress for the interview is HIDEOUS. I look like a first lady, and not a very attractive one. And maybe that's because I'm a size 2, when my body really looks best at a size 0 (I gained a good 15-20 lbs due to depression, and am still working on getting the rest of the weight off). But hey: the college admissions counselors always think I look professional.

The only thing that is going to suck about tomorrow is having to drive down there with my dad. My dad is a workaholic type, and never really spends much time with me. I'm still angry about it, and part of my depression over the past few years is caused by him. Everyone in my family knows it, but none of us will actually formally admit it, because they are all too afraid of my dad finding out. When he gets angry, he gets so intimidating! He never hits or says anything abusive, but everyone just feels extremely bad about themselves. I don't understand why he has that kind of power over us, but he does. I just wonder if he will even talk to me during the entire car ride, which I bet he won't. 

First post!

Hey everyone, and welcome to my first post!

I set this up as basically an online anonymous diary about my day-to-day life and the different things I feel and think. 

I'm a 17 year old girl, living in a small town where I don't quite fit in, in a state I can't stand. I can't wait to grow up and move away, and I'm very mature for my age (for the most part!). So yeah. That's basically me!

Just to start off with my first post, I'll just talk about today:

Because I'm homeschooled, I got to sleep in today. Normally I wake up bright and early and go to the gym after taking my little sister to school, but I slept in because I had a bad reaction after taking the Gardasil shot, and I have been extremely dizzy and feeling sick. The doctor says I can't drive or go to the gym, so I feel like I'm getting fat.

I'm normally really ambitious, so it drove me nuts to realize that I'll be missing out on doing my schoolwork this past week. I can't focus at all cause I'm so dizzy, and the doctor says all I should do is rest (in fact, I'm not supposed to be on the computer cause of blurry vision after the Gardasil vaccine, but ssshhh don't tell anyone ;-) ). 

Anyway, I basically watched TV all day, which I gotta admit, gets really boring after awhile, considering this is my third day being sick. 

I had to cancel SAT prep today too... which I can't say I was too upset about. My SAT tutor, who we will call Keith, is extremely boring. Yeah, he's a nice guy and all, but he makes MATH JOKES. It's so corny. I try to be polite and laugh along with him, but oh my. Two hours with him a week gets to be such a drag. 

Tomorrow I was supposed to see my therapist for EMDR therapy, which is for social harassment and threats I got during my freshman year of high school. EMDR has to do with tapping and involving body motions to help things that impact PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) affect you less. I usually get tired and dizzy after EMDR, so the doctor said it wouldn't be a good idea for me to do EMDR until I'm feeling 100% better.

So yeah. That's my day in a nutshell! I'll post more tomorrow, but my vision is starting to get blurry again from being on the computer. 

Until next time,

- The Average Everyday Girl